The Shower Record
Compiled by P. Jeffrey Nassiff ('89)
Updated by Derek Wilke ('00) and Tony Stubblebine ('00)

The whole shower deal ... let's see. Basically, Scott Hamilton ('90) had broken the shower record--something in the 2 hour range--at his high school, Madison Memorial. So one day he and the Scagg ('88) decided to set a Grinnell record. They just went to the PEC one Sunday morning and hopped into the shower. The locker rooms had movable benches back then, so they dragged one or two of those into the shower with them, as well as a small table if I recall correctly. I'm pretty sure they had some tunes as well, but since they had nothing else, I nominated myself to be their support crew. I drove to Kwik Shop where I bought M&Ms (plain and peanut), Coke, and tabloids. Then I went out for an 11 mile run. I came back and read the Sunday paper in my dorm, and then went to the Physical Education Complex (PEC). I took a shower there, and they were still at it. They had read the tabloids, discovered the adhesive properties of wet peanut M&Ms (as anyone who looked up at the ceiling in that shower between then and 1990 could attest), held a sing along, done derivatives on the wall in pencil,and god only knows what else. They were getting sort of tired of it, though, and were talking about quitting after 3 hours. I convinced them to go for 3:20 for no other reason than that it was 200 minutes. Then I went to KFC for chicken. Ivan Lorkovic ('89) might have gone with me; I don't remember him being involved in any other way, though. Anyway, I got some chicken, and they were kind enough to put it in a bucket for me; the bucket was clearly a required prop. Then I went back to the PEC and got back in the shower and we ate chicken. They finally came out after 3:21:24, a time we duly recorded on the inside of a locker door. Naturally, those locker doors were gone a year and a half later. The re cord also briefly appeared on the record board in the North gym. Note: the only rules for the record are that one must maintain bodily contact with a stream of water for the duration.

What the hell were we thinking?
By: Derek Wilke '00

Being a young and misguided first year I had agreed to join Thad and Nat in an attempt to break the shower record at some point late second semester. So come the sunday of finals week, Thad made the call and we were to meet at the PEC at noon for this epic struggle against insanity. Thad, being the main organizer for this exercise in stupidity purchased the neccessary M&Ms and brought in a television with a VCR so that we could watch movies in the shower, thereby making the whole expierence seem quicker. Nat wanted him to bring some pornos along. Hello! Do you really want to be turned on by some naked chic while you are in the shower with 2 other guys? That would not be a pretty scene. (Not that any part of the whole experience was something to be looked upon with joy, it sucked. I am honestly stupider for having been involved). We ended up watching three movies that day. That is correct 3 damn movies while in the shower. The first was Speed, followed by Unforgiven, and we ended the day with A New Hope. I must admit, I thought Speed was the worst movie since The Stoned Age. I just sat there praying to god that he would give me a nice dull razor blade with which to slit my wrists. But then I would have been the guy that died while trying to break the shower record. Now that's pathetic. Our time in the shower was marked by very few visits from other members on the team. Although there was a brief appearance by Kentner, who actually showered with us. Good job Kentner! The whole day concluded after something like 6:04:35 hours in the shower. If you think you want to break this record let me give you some advise: You are an idiot. You probably spend most of your time chewing staircases and talking to lamp posts. I will shoot you on basic principle. As I walked out of the locker room that day, wisdom finally struck me when I said, "I hate both of you, and I hope I never see you two again."