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When I applied for, and accepted, this fellowship, I knew that a year was not a lot of time. I thought that it would go fast, but never did I expect it to fly by like it has. I read through some of my first reports, both monthly and quarterly, and am surprised by how long ago that seems. I think one of the reasons I have lost all sense of time here is that I now feel completely at home here. I have no sense of how long I've been here or how much longer I have, in part because living and working here feels like the most natural place for me to be.
There are many rewarding aspects of this fellowship. The opportunity to live and work abroad, in a country as wonderful as Namibia, is certainly rewarding. Meeting lots of different creative, brilliant, amazing people, either through working together or at conferences, through travels or social activities, is also a major reward. And the skills acquired through working for the DRFN and the Gobabeb Centre is phenomenally rewarding. I know I said so in one of my earlier reports, but the professional and personal skills I've picked up in my time over here are more concrete and useful than a whole lot of what I learned in college. But one of the most rewarding aspects of this job, that I am only now beginning to experience, is the feeling of being valuable to this organisation that has taught me so much. The first six months was primarily me learning skills needed for this job. I was learning specific skills like how to maintain the computer systems, how to write scientific articles, how to juggle many different
projects with competing deadlines, and how to plan field courses for 25 people. I was also learning how work with a diverse cast of office partners, how to navigate office politics (particularly hard for those recently released from the Grinnell Bubble), how to live independently in another country, and how to maintain a healthy balance of work and pleasure, without going insane. I am nowhere near learning all I need to for this job, and I am still learning each day, but I've been here long enough to know more or less what I'm doing. I'm now able to work more efficiently and effectively because I don't have to stop and think at every stage in a project. It's a great feeling for someone to hand you a project, and you don't feel completely clueless about how to get it finished.
The irony is that this only comes in the later part of the fellowship. The first half of the fellowship is spent acquiring all those skills that you need, but don't yet have because you're fresh out of college and can write a really good 25 pager on the religious traditions of buddhist nuns (as an example), but can't for the life of you figure out how to write a press release or compile an environmental profile or lead a discussion with a bunch of students about indigenous product markets (as examples). That's part of what this fellowship is about-acquiring skills that will prove invaluable in your future jobs.
Now, however, that I feel confident in what I'm doing, and can actually see the results of my work. It's assurance that I have, in fact, learned something over the past 10 months, and that I will be able to take these skills with me wherever I go after this, whatever I do.
Another joy of working here that I've realised only in the past few months, is the intense feeling of being at home here. I no longer think of my life over here as somehow separated from my life back in the states. I now recognise this as my home, and my job, my friends, my experiences.... they're here now. I still miss people back in the states, but have found my niche over here, and have set up my life in Namibia. I am comfortable here. Nearly every time I walk down the streets of Windhoek or Walvis Bay or Swakop, I run into people I know.
One of the difficulties of this fellowship is knowing that no one "back home" can really understand what I'm doing over here or how I fill my days or why I enjoy it so much. It's a rather sad thought, that none of my friends or family in the states can really ever understand what my life is like over here. But consequently, I've created a new support system over here. I think that's a key to really enjoying this fellowship: having a life outside of work. I did this fellowship for the experience of working abroad and for the opportunity to work at the DRFN and learn, but also for the overall experience of living abroad. A support system of friends and confidantes here makes that possible.
Living and working abroad does have its frustrating moments, however, especially for Americans right now. Like how no one can understand when we're all together in the kitchen preparing for a braai and I ask someone for the aluminium foil to wrap the potatoes in. Instead of getting aluminium foil, I get a lecture on how it's actually aluminium (pronounced al-oo-min-yum) foil. Ok, so that's a pretty silly and semi-joking example. But as an American abroad, I am often questioned or asked to defend my nationality. While sometimes it's interesting to have intellectual discussion about international politics with people from around the world, such discussions can and do easily degenerate. Most people that I interact with realise that, although I am an American, I do not necessarily agree with all American politics, and do not embody the loathed characteristics of the U.S. Living outside of the U.S. borders for a year, and interacting with and making friends with people from around the world has given me a very
different perspective on American politics, the "American Way of Life", and of international politics in general.
There are, of course, other frustrations and challenges inherent in any sort of work, especially in a first job after college. It can be difficult to navigate office politics, to work with many different people on lots of different projects, to meet multiple deadlines simultaneously. But all that is stuff anyone encounters in any job. At least I've got the Namib Desert as my front yard.
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