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With only one week left before I leave my home here in Nanjing, I figured it'd be a most opportune time to compose my third (and FINAL) report. To type the word "final" seems a bit odd…did I not just arrive here, starry-eyed and with every hope in the world, everything neatly packed, clean and new for a new year, new friends, a new life? And now where am I? Everything is crammed into my two bags and I am praying that I will not only be able to carry them to the check-in counter, but that they will accept them and I will not have to unpack them at the airport. I have a reserve emotional breakdown saved up in case it comes to that. It's odd though to be typing this and attempting to bring closure to this amazing yet funny year abroad. Closure I don't think is possible. Too many doors and windows have been opened this past year for me to simply say, 'Goodbye!,' and turn off the light. I don't think closure is what I need at the end of this year; I think (besides the obvious Mocha Frappachino) I need a r
eality check. Did I really just spend over a year in Asia?!?! How is that possible? And I look at all the very "Chinese" gifts I have received these past few weeks as well as the memories stored in my head and all I can do is nod my head and say, "Yep. I spent a year in Asia." And that's it. That's all it comes down to. Everything thing, incredible, strange, surreal, is all lost in the words "I spent a year in Asia." It doesn't scream spitting in my hallway or smoking in the bus or a thousand student smiles. It's all simply lost in those words. So I'm not going to bring closure to my year here teaching , learning, travelling, loving, caring, feeling, smiling, crying, dreaming, seeing, believing, listening, speaking, living and being alive because these things can not be shut off, turned loose, or forgotten or lost. What I will do is simply retell, relive and reflect these past few months and my time here in Nanjing.
Switcheroo
As I mentioned in my second report, the second half of the year meant that Kasia and I switch students. I have to admit this is something I understand the rationale behind but something I do not care for. Having already built up a great relationship with my first group of students and them being used to my methods and ways in the classroom, it was a crying shame that I had to give that up to start anew for the second term. By the time the first term ended, my students and I were finally at a point where we understood each other and I knew what they needed in order to succeed in my class. By switching, I had to start all over again. And although it had its pluses, there were definitely its minuses as well. I would much rather have pulled my classes from first term into my second term. And because of these feelings I was harnessing, I felt my start to the term could have been stronger. The students and I got on fine, but I just wasn't as excited as I had been at the start of the year. I missed my origi
nal group of students.
With that said, however, my lessons overall were, for the most part, stronger this term because I knew what the students needs were and what they could and could not do. I would say all of my classes were successful except for the Senior II classes. These classes were a joke to the students and subsequently turned them into something to dread on Wednesday afternoons. They never had any respect for the class or me. This seems to be a common trend with the Senior II classes for the past several years. However, next year that should change. The Senior I students who I had this year will be the Senior II students for next year and they were, by far, one of my favorite classes to work with. They are, for the most part, eager to learn and to practice their English.
This term Kasia and I also decided to try a joint unit with our Junior I classes. Working together, we planned a unit that would prepare our students to eventually hold a mock market at the end of the term in which they would buy and sell things to one another. Although putting the market together took a lot of work on our part, it was phenomenal to watch our students interact with one another and us in English.
My New Best Friends
With the change in classes also (obviously) came new students that I would now have the opportunity to work and interact with. One such student was a Junior II student named "Bob" (His English name has been changed here as to protect his identity and any similarities to people really in my life are all purely real and factual.) Kasia had talked about "Bob" before I had the pleasure to have him in my class; "Bob" had not exactly been an exemplary student. So when the first day came I was expecting a bit of trouble from "Bob." To my surprise there was no trouble to be had from him; he helped me settle down the class and reminded them to listen to me as I gave my first day introduction and we got to work. It is the first day that I take the opportunity to give the students my telephone number in case they have any questions or need to get a hold of me. Nothing had ever come of giving my number out before and rarely had I received a phone call from a student. But this was a new term and I had "Bob."
Junior II classes met on Thursday afternoons, the last two periods of the day and "Bob's" class was the last one of the day. Often some of his classmates and him would stay after to chat and talk about whatever was going on with them or in the world. It was early on in the term, when in one of these after class sessions, that the subject of Ping Pong came up. I had mentioned I liked to play tennis but being China and not having much space to spare tennis courts are few and far between. I was then asked if I played Ping Pong. I said I had once or twice. Well, it was soon settled that on that Saturday I would meet "Bob," "Andrew," and "Dennis" (There names have also been changed) to play ping pong. They soon realized I am pitiful at ping pong and decided that since I am tall by there standards and because last year's fellow (Jason) played basketball well, I should be able to play as well. I tried to protest but soon saw that it was not going to get me anywhere. The last time I had picked up a basketba
ll was probably in high school when I was chasing down one of the balls as it was in my path where I was running. Needless to say I was a bit embarrassed to be playing with them. However, to my complete and total surprise, they decided I played basketball much better than ping pong. They even said I was pretty good. It was at that moment that I realized I had flashed back in time and was getting a chance to relive those dreaded middle school years. I had become friends with two thirteen/fourteen year olds. I was "totally" in. They thought I was cool and fun to play with and talk to. From being the one who was laughed at in junior high or the one who was punched in the stomach while trying to run the mile in under twenty minutes, I had become the cool kid. I thought this was pretty neat. And I had thoroughly enjoyed myself and was excited that I was able to relate to my students on a different level. So I was excited when, during the following week, I received a phone call…it was "Bob." "Bob" had
called not with any specific information in mind but rather to simply chat. He wanted to tell me what had happened at school that day. He told me about a fight and an exam (he had called on a Friday and seeing as though I didn't teach on Fridays, it was kind of like someone's best friend calling a sick friend when they missed something at school). We talked about English and sports (I tried really hard)…and we ended up talking for almost two hours. It was after I hung up the phone and relayed the day's events to Kasia that I realized that I had a new best friend…and his name was "Bob." Over the ensuing weeks I received regular phone calls from "Bob," usually speaking with him for an hour or two. Questions sometimes related to English questions from his book sometimes came up but usually we just talked. Soon though he began calling when I had work to do or classes to prepare and I was simply too polite to tell him I was busy. Finally though I got up the courage and he understood. The phone calls became
less regular but we still kept in good contact at school and after class. My friendship with "Bob" and "Andrew" has been one of my most favorite parts about working at NDFZ. I am going to try and maintain contact with "Bob" after I leave Nanjing next week. But before I leave, I have been invited to have lunch with his parents. They want to meet me seeing as though their son has spent so much time talking to me and, from what I understand, talking about me. So as my last official and unofficial role as English teacher but more so as friend, this coming Saturday, before I leave, I am supposed to 'play' with "Bob" and a bunch of his classmates (their term ends on Friday) and then go to meet his parents. I can hardly wait.
Wonders of China- Huangshan and Jingdezhen
As with the first term of the school year, the second term brought with it several opportunities to travel. One such opportunity came when our students had their mid-term examinations. All year long Kasia and I had been asked if we had been to Huangshan by our students, fellow teachers and friends. And when we in turn asked them if they had been, many replied, "Well, no but it is one of the most beautiful and scenic places in China." With the weather finally reaching above freezing, we decided that the end-of-April exam period would be ideal for a trip to Huangshan and Jingdezhen, the home of Chinese porcelain or 'China.' Knowing that it would be cooler at the top of mountain, we both packed what we thought would be adequate. We took a bus in the morning and arrived at the base of Huangshan in the late afternoon. The weather was perfect. For the most part, the sky was clear and you could see the sun. It was picturesque-something you'd buy a post card of. Needless to say we were thrilled. Unfortunat
ely, upon waking the next morning our expectations waned.
It was raining….not heavily but it was drizzling slightly. It stopped off and on. We really did not have the option to wait it out or postpone our hike till the next day so we headed out. In order to get to the entrance of the mountain you must take a mini-bus up a winding mountain road. So that's what we did. After paying our entrance fee and taking the requisite pictures of us at the starting point, we began, filled with energy and excitement. The rain had stopped and although it was cloudy it was still nice to be outside in a non-polluted environment. We were soon passed on the trail by men carrying heavy loads of bedding, food, and fuel either to the top of the mountain or to the bottom. Using bamboo supports rested on their shoulders these men raced up and down the steps of Huangshan. Mind you, on a good day it takes about four hours I think to reach the top. These men climbed the mountain with up to 100 kilos of goods day after day (Fortunately for us, it wasn't until our climb down that we e
ncountered these men carrying people in sedan-like chairs; and even more fortunately it wasn't Western people we saw in the chairs-they were all older Chinese. In either case we felt bad, but not as guilty as we would have had it been someone who looked like us in one of the chairs.) Anyhow, we continued climbing and I think it was about an hour or two into our climb, the sky opened up. It began as a slight drizzle and then began dropping buckets of water onto us. The beautiful scenery we were supposed to see was lost behind the grey clouds and the water. Tired, soaked to the skin, and cold we reached the top of the mountain and then had to scout out some place to sleep. The "cheap" accommodations were not at all promising, more like a deserted cabin, so we paid a little more so we could stay inside of the hotel. We then spent the day playing cards and trying to keep dry.
One of the most glorious parts about Huangshan is spending the night at the top and waking up early to watch the sun rise-or so we were told. With my alarm set for 4:30am, I woke earlier to the sound of rain crashing against the window. I went to get Kasia and said that if she really wanted to go stand out in the rain, I'd go with her. She didn't want to so we went back to bed and agreed to aim to leave by nine. By 8am we were checked out of the hotel and headed down the mountain a different way. After a confusing start we finally found the right path and began going down. It was now not only raining but all of my warm clothes were still wet from the day before so I was cold and stale wet (you know what I mean). It is on the descent that you are supposed to be able to see some incredible rock formations and the real beauty of Huangshan. Well, as you probably have already guessed, nothing could be seen but the rain and the mist. And the wind was incredible. Small children would have been picked up a
nd swept away forever. There was one moment during our climb down where I honestly believed that we were going to be pitched off the mountain. The path was about a foot wide and nothing but sheer drops on either side and with the wind blowing at least at 50 to 60 mph, I thought we were done for. I expressed my concern to Kasia. I think she might have agreed but as she has done before, she told me we would be okay. Well, we did survive and made it to the cable car station. This is the way most Chinese climb down the mountain. They climb halfway and then take the cable car….we felt the same way. And when we got to the bottom, there was not rain and there may have even been some sun. Go figure. We headed back to the hotel where we had stored most of our gear and the woman who had helped us get our room the day before was there. I grabbed my gear and went to change and when I returned Kasia told me that the woman from the hotel had offered to take us to buy tea and to get us in a car to the next town
where we could catch a train to Jingdezhen. So after were both changed, we went and bought cheap shoes (ours being subsequently soaked) and tea. And then we were off to the train.
All of the in between details here are unnecessary to go into so lets move right along to our arrival in Jingdezhen. The first thing we wanted to do was get sleeper tickets back to Nanjing for the following night. We went and asked and received the ever so popular "Mei you" or "We don't have any" response. They told us to try back in the morning. So we found our hotel, got dinner and went to bed. The next morning we went directly to the train station and were able to secure passage in a sleeper car.
We had decided the previous day that we would visit the porcelain museum and factory so we found the proper bus and started out. It was drizzling when we got on the bus and by the time we reached our destination it was doing a bit more than drizzling. We got off the bus and were pointed down this road. So we began walking. It was cold and wet and we were tired from travelling. We kept on walking and I'd say about 2 ˝ kilometers later we reached the entrance. We bought tickets saw what was to be seen, decided it'd have been lovely in the sunshine and asked the people at the ticket booth if they could call a taxi for us. They told us they could not. Now, there was a pay phone there and the woman at the ticket booth was gabbing away on her cell phone; we would have been willing to pay but to no avail. So we had no other choice but to walk back to the main road. By now we were thoroughly soaked and not in the best of moods. We wanted to find a particular porcelain store that had been recommended in the
guide book but no one knew where it was or would tell us how to get there. So we looked at some stores and got lunch. It was at this point I decided I needed warming clothing so we went shopping and I got myself a sweater. We then spent most of the rest of our time in Jingdezhen in a little tea shop playing cards and trying to stay dry. Eventually it was time to head back to the train station and while there we noticed another foreigner who had been on the bus with us to Huangshan. We made small talk with him and his Chinese friend and then it was time to get on the train. It turned out we were sharing the same hard sleeper section so we began talking some more. It turned out they were both antique dealers. Absolutely fascinating.
We got into Nanjing the next morning and was, as always, bombarded by the hotel and taxi people while leaving the train station. We got to our bus, onto it and it was at this point that I realized my wallet was gone. It had been swiped from my front right hand pocket. I'm unsure how but it was definitely gone. Ah, what a wonderful way to end my wet and cold holiday. To return to Nanjing, my home, and have my wallet stolen. Ah, China.
Labour Day, The Wedding and the Wardrobe
The International Labour Day (May 1) marks a seven day holiday here in China. It is one of two that occur during the year, the other being National Day in October. Not really wanting to spend a holiday fighting for rail tickets and hotel rooms, I decided that my holiday would be best spent in Nanjing-besides I had a wedding to go to at the end of the holiday and I wanted to guarantee that I would be here. About three weeks before the wedding, I inquired what exactly would be appropriate for me to wear. I was told a suit. My reply to this was, I don't have one so let's go get one made. So Fang Laoshi took me to a reputable tailors where "all of the leaders get their suits made." I had been looking at different styles and knew exactly what I wanted. The most important thing to me was that the suit was black. Immediately, the tailor began to try to get me to go for this dark blue suit material because it was of a higher quality than the black material. I explained that I wanted black. He persisted. K
asia put it bluntly. "He does not want a blue suit, he wants a black suit." That seemed to make everyone understand. I was measured and told to come back in a week for another fitting. Fang Laoshi accompanied me to the second fitting and it was decided that I would be fine to go pick up the suit alone. No problem…they knew who I was. In the interim my wallet was stolen as was the tiny slip of paper the tailor had given me to claim my suit. It was decided that it would not be a problem….needless to say this is China and that's where the problems began.
I went to collect my suit and immediately, they asked for the slip of paper. I explained to them, with the ever so popular Chinese phrase "mei you" that I did not have it any more. They put up a bit of a fuss about it and begrudgingly got me my suit to try on. I tried it on in a dark closet, paid and left. That evening I wanted to show the suit to Kasia and a friend so I unzipped it from the bag. To my shock, dismay, and absolute horror I discovered that they had attached navy blue buttons to my black suit. Being China, and seeing people walk around in their pajamas on a day to day basis, I should have expected something to go wrong but this I simply could not comprehend. Who in their right mind would put blue buttons on a black suit! Angry and upset because the wedding was going to be in four days, I had my Chinese friend write a note that I took with the suit to the tailors the following day. They immediately saw the mistake. I watched them cut off the old buttons and sew on new ones. Well, the d
ay of the wedding came and I put the suit on. The front jacket buttons were black and the pants pocket buttons were black, but still to my dismay the others were still blue. Having had enough, I had my Chinese friend come back to the tailors with me. And the tailor had the gall to say, "It's just a little detail. It really does not matter." I asked my friend to tell him that if I wore this suit in America or Europe I would be laughed at because of the buttons. He refused to translate and instead demanded to have the buttons changed again. Unfortunately they could not do it then and I would have to go back, yet again to get the suit. And so, after my fifth or sixth time to the tailors I now have a suit…with only two blue buttons….AIYA!!!!!!!!!!!
(Although on the surface the above story may not seem relevant to my life in China, but it reflects what doing business in China is all about….nothing is easy and the phrase "the customer is always right" is non-existent. I've also decided not to go into details about the wedding as I believe Kasia has done so in her report. If you'd like wedding stories from me though, please feel free to ask.)
Visits from Abroad
Within my last two months here in Nanjing, I have seen more Grinnell people than I have all year. Starting around mid-May we began to receive Grinnell people who appeared to be crawling out of the woodwork. The first to arrive was Molly Davis ('01) who was one of the Nepal Teaching Fellows. She had just finished her stint in Nepal and had always dreamed of travelling in China. One of her first stops was to visit her fellow fellows in Nanjing. Kasia and I had eagerly been anticipating her visit because it marked the final hurdle of classes for us as well as the beginning of the Grinnell visits. It was really interesting to have her come and see our classes and get her perspective on living abroad for a year. It was also nice to see that fears about returning home were shared by all of us.
Shortly after her three or four days with us, Andrew Hsieh arrived as the Grinnell delegate to help celebrate the 100th Anniversary of Nanjing University. Seeing as though it coincided with Grinnell's graduation, President Osgood would not be able to make it until later in the week. As always, having Andrew in town is wonderful not only for support and conversation but for the free meals. I may have graduated but I am still a Grinnellian and I know the value of a free meal. President Osgood and Mr. Brand were supposed to arrived on Wednesday evening but their flight was delayed. So Andrew left Nanjing on Thursday to meet the Grinnell Delegation of 21 arriving in Beijing on Friday, and President Osgood arrived. Having never had a direct conversation with President Osgood I was pleasantly surprised when I was seated next to him at dinner; we had quite an amusing conversation and once again it was neat to be there representing Grinnell and a program that I firmly believe in and hope will last quite a long
time.
We then had a week of down time before the big group arrived. As we have been told all year, this has been a very special year and we have been very lucky to be here. It just so happened that not only was it a year President Osgood and Dean Swartz would be in town, but it is also the year Grinnell is celebrating X amount of years in China. What that translates to is lots of Grinnell professors touring China, and, most importantly, coming to Nanjing. Kasia and I had heard about the delegation way back at the beginning of the year and although many of the professors we had not had in class, we welcomed the idea of seeing familiar faces and making new friends. After being told the wrong day for their welcome dinner, we met the professors on a Saturday night. First, Kasia and I had the opportunity to meet Professors Meehan, Strausberg, and Simawee (please pardon my spelling if I have goofed on any names…my sincerest apologies). They had been in residence in Nanjing for about two weeks and we had yet had th
e opportunity to meet them. And then the big delegation arrived. It was a phenomenal evening filled with Grinnell spirit and warmth. I think my highlight of the evening had to be when Professor Don Smith came to my table and toasted me as a fellow historian. I will never forget that. Kasia and I were invited to tag along to various dinners and outings with the professors during their stay here in Nanjing. It was incredible. Here we are, two people who most of the professors had never met, yet because we are Grinnellians, we were immediately accepted and included in the group. It was quite a trip having meals and sight seeing with so many different and diverse professors. It made me realize that I had missed getting to take some incredible classes from some amazing people.
By the time that they left Nanjing, Kasia and I were ready to go headfirst into our last few weeks of class and close out our year together.
The Last Days of School
It just so happened that our last day of teaching coincided with my 23rd birthday. What this translated to was lots and lots and lots of things that I would have to take home. It also made my last day of school easier to handle because most everyone else was too wrapped up in the fact that it was Lan Tian's birthday. Presents upon presents (all completely unnecessary) were handed out to Kasia and I in honor of my birthday and the last day of school (although Kasia also received quite a few for my birthday as well…I guess they figured since we teach together and came together that we must share the same birthday).
Birthday aside, however, it was a very sad time for us. The entire week we were on an emotional roller coaster. Some days I'd be sad and crying and others Kasia would be sad and crying. Fortunately, we alternated so we never were both down on the same day. The hardest day, for me, was the last day. I had decided that since I had taught about poetry and rhyme that I would write a farewell poem to my favourite group of students, the Junior IIs. The day before I was to present the poem, I began writing it. And as I wrote each line, new tears would begin to form. I broke down a record number of times trying to finish it and while rehearsing reading it. To my surprise, however, when it came time to read it in front of my students, because they were not sad, I was not sad. I have included it in this report because I feel it will give you a good insight to how I have been affected this year.
Thank You/ XieXie
Thank you all for the little things,
Your laughter, your smiles, your "Good Afternoons" and "How are you's"
Thank you all for the little things,
Your questions, your conversations, and the way you yell "Hey BLUE."
Thank you all for the little things,
Reminding me day after day why I am here,
Letting me know that each of you care.
Thank you all for the little things,
Your English questions on construction and grammar,
And me reminding you that these things really do not matter.
Thank you all for the little things,
For its what's in here, inside your heart,
That is the most important part.
Thank you all for the little things,
Being the class I look forward to teaching at the end of week,
And being the class now that makes it hard for me to speak.
Thank you all for the little things,
For compared to what you have taught me,
I have taught you very little, you'll see,
You have taught me Chinese and all about basketball,
I have taught you a little English and not to hit the wall,
You have taught me about Chinese pop music and football,
I have taught you about "Cynthia Stout" and when not to give me a call,
You have taught me its not the lesson that matters,
Its simply being together that is most important, enjoying the noise and the chatter,
I have taught you very little you see, but we have given each other a most important thing,
Memories and dreams to last forever,
Passed from me to you and you to me to be forgotten almost never,
So with these words I am thanking you,
But its not that message that is making me Blue,
It has come time for me to say goodbye,
And this is the part that will make me cry,
For maybe its not goodbye I should say,
For I truly hope to be back some day,
Perhaps I should simply say, "See you later" or "Another time"
For I'm afraid I am running out of rhymes.
So See you later, my wonderful students who have impacted me more than you can think of,
May your dreams come true and you lives be filled with lots of love,
Keep on practicing your English and reading Harry Potter,
It will bring out the magic in your lives, much more so than a sea otter,
See you later my clever students who I wish I could take home with me,
But in my heart I promise you will stay,
So see you later and thank you, for being you and listening to what I had to say
No matter what any one tells you, you can be anything you want to be,
So see you later and Xie Xie Ni.
Where to go from here
Having read past fellow's reports, I always wondered what they were going to do after leaving Nanjing. I've decided to include my 'what's next' in this final report. Come August, I will be returning to Grinnell to finish my elementary teaching certification. I am going to be working in a second grade classroom in Brooklyn, IA. I am thrilled and I am keeping my fingers crossed that I will be able to teach about dinosaurs! After that, I'm still up in the air. I may move to Hong Kong to help direct an English Language Program there or maybe I will come back to Asia to teach English. As I'm sure this experience has been for all other fellows, it has been a life changing experience. I have discovered a new found passion for English language development and helping those who have the desire to learn English. Someday I want to go to grad school and get my PhD and do further work to help people learn English. But all of that is a bit far in the future, even for me. For the immediate future, I am simply go
ing to fly home and spend time with my family and friends who have supported me over this past year.
Thanks and goodbye
Well, its come time to wrap things up. I'd like to first thank, once again, the Nanjing selection committee for allowing me to partake in this opportunity of a lifetime. I owe a special thanks to Andrew Hsieh for being in the know and always being willing to help out when needed. I'd also like to thank Doug Cutchins for his support and help throughout the year (and for calling me when I was in hospital in Thailand:^) I'd of course like to thank my parents, friends and family for all of their emails, card, letters and packages that have supported me and reminded me of home those times that I really needed it. I am also indebted to the teachers, students and leaders of NDFZ, especially Fang Laoshi. Without her support, I'd have never been able to make it here. And most importantly, I want to give a huge thank you to Kasia. Kasia has been my support system from the moment she arrived in Hong Kong. Kasia has been the one who was there to laugh when we had China days and it was her shoulder I cried on whe
n it got rough and lonely. There are not words that I can write that will express fully how much having her support has meant to me. All I can say is that it's been a pleasure having her as my best friend for a year and a look forward to a life-long friendship with her. Being here alone these last couple of days has made be realize that I could not have done this alone.
So I guess that's it. All that's left to say is…..Zaijian!
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