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As I sit in this nearby coffee shop (with free wireless) to write my Second Quarterly Report, I find myself a little surprised by the fact that I have actually been living here for five months now, with five more to go. Like many of my fellow Grinnell Corps fellows, my time here seems to transcend standard measurement. The days and weeks pass too quickly and not quickly enough. At times China seems like a ridiculous country that I will never really understand, and at others I am struck by how kind and generous the people I've met here are. After five months, my feelings regarding China and my time here have become more contradictory, and perhaps, a little more refined.
School
First semester is officially over - for Austin and I at least. The school year isn't really divided up into semesters for high school students, it seems. The oldest students might get a few days off for Spring Festival (February 18th) and the younger students might get a week or two, but will be doing a fair amount of homework during that time. It's certainly no American Winter Break for them.
I am left with so many positive impressions from the first semester of teaching. I feel like I developed a good rapport with my students, and further, I feel that I really earned their trust. I think Austin and I fill a sort of in between teacher and older sibling role. We're younger and the older students know that we do not hold the same values (particularly regarding dating) that the other teachers do. We have created relationships that are closer to friendships or mentorships than they are to the traditional Chinese teacher/student relationship. I'm really glad that we were able to do this without losing credibility, and without students walking all over us.
Surprises
Generally, Austin and I have little idea of what is actually going on at school outside of our classrooms. We teach our classes and every once in a while we'll be surprised that a class is cancelled because they have some sort of exam. We usually know what we need to know and little more and it's not a problem, but the most recent surprise was particularly upsetting. Austin and I had previously been told that the past week would be our final week of teaching. And so, last Tuesday we prepared our classrooms and eagerly awaited our Junior 2s who never showed. Later that afternoon we learned that the previous week had actually been our last week of classes. Besides making the end of the semester entirely anti-climactic, I personally felt a little less valued as a teacher.
However, it should be noted, that I have no doubt that the people at NDFZ truly appreciate the work that we do there. They have been incredibly helpful and welcoming to us all semester, and I am so happy to be working there. And, if the administration were more confident in communicating with us directly, it might clear up a lot of misunderstandings. I think this experience simply highlights one aspect of life in China: poor communication. Whether it's a result of a language barrier, the generally inefficient divisions of labor, or different ordering of priorities, poor communication seems to be a part of living here that we just have to accept.
Christmas Party
The second half of the semester was also characterized by a bit of unpredictability and mild chaos, most of which can be blamed on the holiday season. On Christmas Day, for about two hours, there was an unparalleled level of excitement amongst our students. The annual Christmas Party seems to be quite the institution at this point. All of our students (over 400 in total) crammed into a performance hall where it was nearly impossible to get them to sit quietly. Students from each class performed a play, song, or dance while all of the other students were talking so loudly that Austin would periodically feel compelled to stand up and tell them all to be quiet. My favorite performances include the Junior II production of Cinderella in which the evil stepsisters repeatedly told Cinderella, "but you're so dirty and so ugly!", and the Junior I girls' dance to Genie in a Bottle by Christina Aguilera. Of course, the highlight of the event was when Austin walked in dressed as Santa Claus (a.k.a. Father
Christmas and Christmas Man) with a bag full of candy for the students. The room exploded in shouting and laughter as soon as he came in - students were climbing over chairs, Austin was pelting kids with candy, and at one point, I thought the mob of kids might actually seriously harm Austin. After the performances were through, Austin and I stood in front of the room while our students came up and gave us more presents than we could count.
Christmas Day in Nanjing was something I had been looking forward to and dreading for a few weeks. As you may imagine, Christmas is generally a fairly emotional time for me and I really wished that I could have celebrated with my friends and family back in the United States. All of the expats here say the first Christmas abroad is the worst. But, when it came down to it, standing in the emptied performance hall with only a handful of students cleaning up after the previous hour and a half of sheer chaos, I felt at home. Some of our students asked us if we had a good Christmas Day, to which Austin responded, "Christmas is a time when we are usually with our families, and so of course we missed them today, but we were so happy to celebrate it with all of you." As he said this, I realized that I really did feel as if all of these students were somehow a part of my family. As sappy as it is, I think really feeling an emotional bond with my students for the first time was one of many lessons I have learned
about what it means to be a teacher.
Reflection and Goals
My first semester of teaching is finished and I have learned quite a bit of what it takes to be a successful teacher, meanwhile gaining a whole new respect for all of those spectacular teachers I've had throughout my life. In my class, getting students interested in and excited about learning English is the most important thing I can do. So much of that depends on a class dynamic that I spent all semester developing. For next semester I want to focus on developing a theme for each grade, focusing on language learning for communication, and getting students excited about learning English. I feel much more prepared to deal with discipline issues and to encourage participation in some of the classes I've had difficulty in. Structurally, I plan to give a brief quiz at the beginning of every class, just so students know they will be held accountable for the information I give them.
Delegation
Austin and I were incredibly lucky to be here for the 20th Anniversary celebration and delegation from Grinnell College led by President Osgood. Ten friendly faces from Grinnell cam to Nanjing for about 4 ridiculous days: Prof. Armstrong, Prof. Cook, Prof. Hsieh, Prof. Smith, Prof. Harrison, Lynn Stafford, David Degeest '06, Sophie Nye '06 (Grinnell Fellows in Macau), and Doug Cutchins. The purpose of the delegation was to celebrate the past 20 years of a relationship between Grinnell College and Nanjing University (and our high school), which has generated several visiting professors, scholars and students at Grinnell College.
The excitement of seeing Grinnellians in Nanjing in the middle of January seemed to carry us through the week, on the little amount of sleep that we actually got. But, what was particularly special about the weeks' events, was being privy to a true celebration of friendship and exchange. It's so easy to become self-involved here - being unaware of all of the people that somehow had a hand in Austin's and my job at NDFZ. Over the course of the week, I really began to understand and appreciate all of the efforts so many people have made to maintain an active and positive relationship between the two institutions. I came away from the weekend with a much stronger sense of purpose for what I'm doing here and a deeper respect for all of the work that generally goes unnoticed.
People
The first few months I spent here were characterized by adjustments to daily life, food, transportation, language, and teaching. While all of those things still prove to be challenging and exciting at times, they are much more commonplace at this point in the fellowship. When I think about my time in Nanjing now, I fist think of all of the people whom I have met and who have helped me negotiate all of the details of living in a foreign city. I cannot fully express my thankfulness to these people.
Fang Laoshi, a fellow English teacher and our guide of sorts, is the first who comes to mind. If I have a problem, I have no doubt that she would be happy to help me find the solution. From picking Austin and me up at the airport to helping us buy tickets to taking my sister and me out to dinner, she has been a constant and dependable co-worker and friend. We are really lucky to have someone who genuinely enjoys helping us so much. I really believe that her help has been indispensable.
Second, Austin Lewis Dean is an excellent partner. Little did either of us know when we met on Mac Field five years ago that we would be living next to each other on the 17th floor of this oh so cold dormitory in a bustling city in China. I have found his passion and dedication to teaching and learning Chinese to be inspiring, and sometimes wonder if I could focus at all if it weren't for him. I think we have found a great balance of spending time together and appreciating each other, but also having our own lives and engaging with the city on our own.
Third, Felix Zhu'05 has become a wonderful friend to us and has also helped me out when I just don't know how to go about things here. While I did not know him very well at Grinnell, I have been grateful to find that a Grinnellian is a Grinnellian no matter where you are. Felix, you are tight.
And, generally, I would just like to express how happy I am to have made so many other friends over here. I go out to eat every week with the owners of the restaurant I where I play. I have met some amazing local musicians and students around the Nanjing University campus. And, the international students here continue to impress me with their general enthusiasm and optimism. I really feel that a home is made of the people who you are surrounded by, and I am lucky to be living and working with so many inspirational people.
Daily Life
Just as classes ended, I became even busier - picking up another gig at a nearby bar, tutoring another student and starting an internship at a local television station. Like a good Grinnellian, I like to be busy with lots of different things. I continue to play twice a week at the Mexican Restaurant, Behind the Wall, which was recently voted The best bar in Nanjing. I'm surprised that I continue to like it so much - even on those nights when I'm a bit tired and I really could think of nothing better than to bundle up with some blankets and a book, I am still happy to be playing and singing.
The second bar where I now play twice a week is called Latin Bar. I am particularly excited about this job because it is not an expat/foreigner bar. I have never seen another foreigner there, which is a little unique. I also get to play with a full house band - drums, bass, electric guitar and keyboards. The musicians are fantastic and can jump right in to a song they've never even heard before. I am looking forward to spending more time with them.
The television internship is my newest excitement. I am now working for a show called Small Talk - an English talk show on Jiangsu Education Television. The show focuses on cross-cultural awareness and is aimed at English learners. Topics include the environment, the two American basketball players on the Nanjing basketball team, what it's like to go to Harvard, intercultural relationships, and a dating show. I applied to learn editing and production skills but am also getting a chance to plan shows and interview. In fact, I will be a guest host of the show in a few weeks. I also tried to get an interview with Eric Clapton for when he played in Shanghai last night, but that didn't work out.
Me First
Before I get too ahead of myself, I want to mention some of the aspects of life in China that are not so great. The thing that bothers me the most is, what I have started calling, the Me-First-Mentality. It's pervasive and insistent and rears its head anywhere from the elevator to the grocery store to getting off of a bus to crossing the street. Basically, it's the mindset that if I don't get what I want now then someone else will take my chance from me. I think it's partially a result of living in a country with such a high population, and partially a result of not having enough resources or job opportunities for everyone. It's most commonly found whenever you are in a situation that would require a line in the United States. I have had people budge in front of me when there were two people in line. People cram onto the bus to get seats like it's the end of the world, when there are obviously more than enough seats. Basically, if a line can be budged, it will. And the scary part is, that I have
found myself adopting this way of thinking. If I want to get that train ticket, I better use my elbows. Although I understand how people can easily be swept up in the Me-First-Mentality, I find it really hard to excuse and pass it off as anything other than rude and a little insulting.
Food
It wouldn't be a quarterly report without talking about the food. While I was really into Chinese food (which I still find delicious) in my last report, I have found myself drawn toward more international and Western food lately. Indian, Thai, Korean, Italian, American - it's all good. I think it's a sign of the halfway mark that I have been paying the extra RMB for Western food lately. There is a great bakery a few blocks away where we can buy sandwiches and salads and an American just opened up a new Pizza place with pizza that could give the pub a run for its money. I'm going to Shanghai tomorrow - the Mecca of Western food in China - and can't wait to eat at a 24-hour diner. I know, I know, I didn't come to China to eat waffles and drink bad coffee, but after 5 months of rice and tomato-and-egg soup - it sounds delicious. I'm sure I will be right back to appreciating Chinese cuisine in no time.
Goals
In my last report I mentioned some of my goals for my time here: to improve my Chinese, guitar and teaching, and to generally figure out what to do with myself next year. I think I have made some headway on all of those, although some more than others. First, I regret that my Chinese has not improved all that much in the past month, but I vow to revisit the glory days when I studied a little Chinese every day. I'm able to get around just fine at this point, but buying tickets can still be a little stressful. So, my goal for learning Chinese for next semester is to be able to recognize most items on a menu, be able to express my feelings more thoroughly and be able to buy a train ticket without wanting to cry afterward.
Regarding teaching, I am excited to have another chance with new students next semester. The first few months of last semester consisted of a lot of trial and error. I think I've become much more confident in front of the students now and have some ideas of how to more efficiently and effectively manage the classroom. I would like to design lesson plans that make students ask why in the upcoming semester and help develop their critical thinking skills.
And, finally, regarding what I should do with myself, well, I still am not so sure. I have applied or am thinking of applying for a few jobs/scholarships teaching or studying in countries like the Czech Republic, India, South Korea, Taiwan, and China. How any of these jobs will fit into the big picture I have for myself, I'm not sure. But, I feel more confident in Doug Cutchins' notion of intentional serendipity - as long as I continue to do what I love and what I am committed toward, things will be fine. It's a bit simplistic, perhaps, but comforting at this time in my life.
Finally, I would just like to reiterate my gratitude for all of the efforts so many of you have made to make this teaching fellowship possible. I know the lessons I learn and the skills I develop here will carry me into whatever career I choose to pursue.
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