Jimmy,
Ask Luke why he likes me then tell me what he said, then I will ask him and if he tells me different, then that would be two reasons to break up with him. But are you going out with Brittany for real or do you want to go out with me or Mandy? Well, I would be glad to. One thing I have to know before we go out, how long do you think our relationship would last? Well once me and Luke break up me and you can finally be together. Remember our secret I love you and you love me too.
Allison
Imagine a world where relationships are molded and quickly disassembled by notes scribbled on scrap paper, passed from the best friend of a girl named Allison into the hands of a 6th grade boy named Jimmy. Does one have to travel to Nepal, Nanjing, Namibia, or Lesotho to navigate an entirely new cultural context? Ten months into my fellowship serving as the director of Grinnell's youth center, I would say most definitely not. When my co-worker found this note on the floor after open hours the other day, it not only brought back junior high memories that I would just as soon forget, but struck me as an artifact symbolic of youth culture; a "reality" highly foreign to outsiders. This note embodies the potential for a never-ending conversation with kids about the impact that their thoughts, words, and actions have on others. Although it didn't shock me - I have become somewhat desensitized - it did remind me that when filled with kids struggling through the social challenges of middle school, The Galaxy can seem like another universe.
Challenges
Many Grinnell Corps fellows take on the role of educators working in traditional classrooms, and reflect on the challenges of teaching. Although I'm not situated in a school, I often feel like some kind of alternative "teacher" working desperately toward the goal of making The Galaxy a safe space for everyone. Lessons on respect for people and property, anger-management, non-violent resolution, and the importance of friendship take place many times throughout any given day. Initially intimidated by the process, I left a lot of this to my co-worker who has tackled these difficult issues with kids for years. But after awhile of watching what I consider a unique art, I began to feel like I was missing out on the crucial process of relationship-building. This got me inspired to work at it, and although these issues are not easy to approach in such a relaxed, "non-educational" space, I am growing more comfortable within this role. Education in this context is all about being real.
A great daily challenge lies in fighting the punitive response. I suppress the urge to meet destructive behavior with negativity almost every day, especially when my stress levels are up, matching my equally high expectations for angelic "inside energy" (ha ha). It is all too easy to yell, intimidate, and use the fear factor to battle behavior that drives you insane. But what can anyone take from that kind of response? Surely they are fed the same at school and sadly, in many cases, at home. I want The Galaxy to be a space where conversation guides youth and adults through tough situations. One of the most important things that I've learned over the months is that I can't truly control another individual. I can work my hardest to control what goes on in a space, within the environs of The Galaxy, but I can't ultimately control another human being's actions. This thought always brings me back to the power of conversation. Through these conversations with kids, we illuminate choice. Although there are nights that I leave my office thinking "I don't want to be these kids' parentâ¦these aren't the kinds of lessons I'm prepared to teach," much more frequent are the evenings that leave me feeling incredibly full.
What is that Brittany Spears song? "I'm not a girlâ¦not yet a woman?" I've found that a 22 year old "Director" is a contradiction to many. It is difficult to be considered a "college kid" (especially a Grinnell College kid) when talking to parents, and even more of a challenge to assume the role of "boss" over youth 4 years younger than myself. Parents often walk into The Galaxy and ask to speak to "an adult" or "the person in charge." I've found that they are far more comfortable approaching my co-worker, who has been a member of the community all her life, put kids through school and worked within the school system. There are definite positives to having a fresh graduate on the job, but I think that the community would more readily support The Galaxy if it were run by a community member with a well-known history here.
Successes
Enough of the challenges! Sure, the year has been packed with them, but I feel like Nancy, the Board and I strive to meet our obstacles, often (though not always) transforming challenges into successes. One example of this was the implementation of a membership system. Although I'm sure there are more organized ways to get kids to sign up, follow up with parents, make cards and keep track of our members (at times my desk is a mound of business cards and Contact Paper; the key ingredients to grassroots membership creation), we currently have close to 250 middle and high school members. Its an ever-evolving system, and we've just created a new letter to send home to parents explaining the fee, the process, and the benefits of membership, but it hasn't yet ceased to get kids' and parents' attention.
I would say that growth in membership represents an overall increase in attendance, both at events and during open hours. In a recent tally, we counted roughly 3,000 visits over the last 11 months, with numbers doubling each month since February. I guess you can attribute this kind of growth to word of mouth, but publicity is worthless if you don't have a good program, and our program would be nothing without the additional "staff" we gained throughout the year. Nancy and our three Grinnell College work study students helped to create that positive, supportive space I imagined possible back in June.
We have gained a really neat addition in the last couple of weeks which I thought I'd mention. Two of our work study students created a student group called "Galaxy Task Force," and applied for $300 to put towards improving our board game collection. They were granted the funds by SGA, and we now have an incredible stack of everything from Pictionary to Taboo. The interest in games seemed to have taken off earlier this quarter, when another Grinnell College student began teaching kids how to play chess at The Galaxy after-school during open hours. The move away from in house dodge-ball (an at times dangerous game not well supported by our limited space) to a focus of mind games seems really positive.
Finally, I think we may be headed somewhere in our fundraising efforts. Although we face serious competition in the face of hospital and school fundraising, the community continues to support our efforts, and (I thinkâ¦) they will meet the challenge to match the $15k grant offered by the Ahrens Foundation. This money will go towards funding the new director's position. Additionally, we recently had a very positive meeting with a representative from an anonymous donors group out of Des Moines. The incredibly intricate application for funding has become my new project, in addition to finalizing the Maytag Grant, which I will complete before I hand over the keysâ¦
Life in Grinnell Post Grinnell
I haven't left my college town. But life definitely changes post Grinnell. Although I lived in a downtown apartment as a senior, this year is markedly different in that I spend more time working out at the PEC than studying in ARH or Burling. Grinnell certainly feels farther and farther away as the months pass, albeit only a few blocks from home. If it weren't for my attachment to INSLAB's computers and frequent visits to the CDO, I don't know that I would spend a whole lot of time on campus.
Every morning I wake up to those bizarre, though occasionally charming renditions of musical tunes like "In the Mood" resonating off of downtown stores and businesses, look around at my incredibly spacious, light-filled apartment and think, "Never again will I live this well for so little!" I have, to some extent, integrated into the Grinnell community, although I am convinced that my image would still scream *Grinnell College student* 5 years from now. I may feel like I've made the leap from student to community member, but I have to admit that I am constantly being asked how my classes are going, what I am doing for break and what subject I've chosen for my major. The Maytag is a wonderful venue for this kind of exchange. While I am constantly qualifying myself to others, though, I am just as frequently running into kids, parents, or community members who want to hear the latest on what's happening down at the center.
In the evenings, I fall asleep to the sounds of "loopers" "scoopin' it," and wonder how many of my kids will be out there screaming around the corners, holding conferences in alley- ways in years to come.
The Future
With less than 8 weeks remaining, I'm feeling the pressure of transition weighing on me. Board meetings have become a time to talk about the future. We focus a lot of energy on the search for a new director. At times, I feel like a ghost looking in. But as I begin the process of "phasing out" of my position, I think a lot about the future of The Galaxy. What does it take to make a youth center like ours a long-term success? First off, in working with the Board of Directors, comprised of dedicated but equally over-committed community members, I have realized the importance of organizing a group of volunteers to take on various projects and responsibilities. There have to be people out there looking to commit time to this kind of service. In the future, I imagine a network of people organized into branches of interest, working cooperatively with the new director and sub-committees to produce the many valuable ideas put forth by everyone involved. I also hope for a consistent community presence. More mailings! Newsletters! Public Events! An elaborate website! Galaxy, Galaxy, Galaxy, everywhere you go! We've improved, but there's so much more to doâ¦
As for my future, it is really hard to say where I will be in five months time when I return to Grinnell to present my Grinnell Corps fellowship. This year has enlightened me as to my own strengths and weaknesses, doubled, if not quadrupled my skill set, and prepared me to work in a variety of contexts. Right now, I'm plugging patiently along at the job search, in hopes to find a position that will challenge me to this level. I do know that wherever I finally land, my work will be fueled by the many lessons I have learned here.
