"If you are planning for a year, sow rice; if you are planning for a decade, plant trees; if you are planning for a lifetime, educate people."
--Chinese Proverb
I.
Living abroad changed me, and it all started with my nose. I've never thought I had a big nose. Sure, it's not small or cute or perky, but living in a land dominated by people of German, Scandavian, and Dutch descent had me convinced my nose was a normal, perhaps even attractive, feature of my face.
"You the nose the very tall," said Yue Ying, my adoptive Chinese mother. Then she started laughing. And this is not the "I'm quite uncomfortable" Chinese laugh, nor the "you're just that crazy and stupid, aren't you, gweilo?" Chinese laugh, and not even the "man, isn't China a crazy place" Chinese laugh. No, she snorted. Three times.
"My nose isn't that big!" I retorted.
"Yesss-e!" she intoned. Snort snort snort. "You the nose..." Snort snort snort.
When her biological son Gai looked at my nose, carefully, said something in agreement, and joined in the cackling, I knew I was done. My nose had metamorphed from something indistinct into a curio worthy of comment, ridicule, pointing, and snorting.
In a similar way, hugs will never be the same for me again. I remember the first time I tried to hug a Chinese person. The pale look of fright and terror from my friend made me worry I had shoved a metal railroad spike into her heart. And while later on this served as a great source of amusement--"I am so sad, Yue Ying! Please give me a hug!" "I no the hug you! I no believe you the sad la!"--I was at first shocked that a culture so intent on their family and friends connections wouldn't take an all-but-morbid interest in making sure everyone was properly hugged, cheek-pinched, and handshook.
And if my nose weren't enough, my ears are comparable to the little flying elephant (yes, the Chinese call him xiaofeixiang) and my hands and feet are now apelike. The man at the store, trying to lessen the devastating loss of face I forced him to suffer, had to tell me that he did not in fact have shoes "for the giant." Another shopkeeper in Kunming meekly shoved a pair of long underwear into my hand, told me, "this is the biggest size we have..." then promptly ran off to find someone who did not resemble an elephant, ape, or giant.
Lots of people talk about how coming to a foreign country changes them, and they often refer to an inner perspective on life. I feel the same way. I get bored watching movies that don't have good action sequences or Rowan-Atkinson-style slapstick comedy. The best part of Spider-Man 3 was JJJ's desk rattling, and I yawned during the boring "I forgive you for killing my uncle" philosophical-blah-blah... Where was I? Oh right.
China changes people. And it is not always for the better. So while some parts of being in China are fabulous, my nose can still bring any conversation or exchange of insults to a hilarious end. Snort snort snort.
II.
I've met lots of bad people this year: people I don't trust, people who scammed me, and people who wouldn't do anything that didn't directly serve their needs or line their pockets. This makes me all the more grateful for the good people I've worked with this year. So thank yous go out to Doug, for all his hard work; Todd, for his advice before and after I left; my students, for missing me while I was gone and giving me their time when I was back; Sophie, for bearing with me; John, for helping us get around Macau; Mary, for helping get me back to Macau and defending me when I needed it most; Melinda, for letting me join her classes; Don, for being a good friend; Li Ai Hua, for my Chinese name; Lan Hao, for putting up with my Chinese; the DVD ladies who always listened when I try to talk in Chinese; Gai, for teaching me how to swear in Cantonese; Yue Ying, for watching over me; and Lonnie, for fighting for me when I otherwise couldn't.
A very special thanks goes to Candy Wong Fong for all of her help getting me where I needed to go when I needed to go there.
Ming K. Chan and Eilo Yue Wing Yat deserve special thanks for their help during the most difficult times in early November.
Last, I want to thank the person who gave up this opportunity and unwittingly gave it to me. Thank you for a year that changed my life.
--Dawei